I am the eyes inside of you...

So.  This is a nice short blog post just to tell you all sorts of nothingness and so that the last post doesn't sit long enough that people start to think it through too much.  Today I went to the varsity basketball games, which were good.  Both the girls and boys dominated, which is fun.  I think it will be a good season.  I also amazingly caught one of the t-shirts that the cheerleaders throw for 3 pointers.  I never catch anything, so this is a big deal.  I'm wearing it right now, because it makes a nice pajama top.  Work was fine, I basically just did random things.  I think the website is really truly almost done.  I need to redesign this form thing for Gabe before I forget about it.  I think I'll try and do that now.

Love,
Mara

Hey ungraceful, I will teach you to forgive one another...

Sometimes I blog about nothing.  Sometimes I blog about insignificant things.  And sometimes, if you're lucky, I blog about things that matter to me.  Congratulations.  It's your lucky day.

 

So.  Tonight, as I listen to my current favorite UnderOath song (featuring the Copeland guy... it just doesn't get much better than that) and wishing I had a hot cappuccino and a scone (if I had the option, I would sit at Cafe Diem with a laptop at all hours of the day), I'm pondering the sorts of things that one might usually ponder when away from home while listening to awesome music and drinking coffee. (I'm not really drinking coffee, but I wish I was.  That has to count for something, right?)  I had hoped to sign on to Windows Live and be greeted by a couple different names all green and lit up and ready to talk, and I wasn't.  I had also hoped that it wouldn't be so late as it ended up being when I signed on, but due to the recent death of my watch (it died young.  Hopefully it just needs a battery, but we'll see.) and the fact that I'm eagerly trying to complete my recent endeavor of knitting a burgundy beret, it wasn't until 10:15 that I got online.  So what did I do?  I pulled up GMail to start an email to my blog.

 

It's funny how sometimes people say things or do things that aren't what you want them to do.  Like, when someone says something and it's not exactly what you wanted to hear, or when someone doesn't say something you wish they'd said, or when someone does something without realizing that you're going to see things about it that they might not have thought about.  Like, if your friend were to tell you she likes this guy, and it turns out to be the guy you've secretly been madly in love with since birth, except less ridiculous sounding.  The feeling is what I'm trying to get at.  Like, she didn't do anything wrong by liking the guy, and she has every right to do that, but it still feels weird.  Or like when you really want someone to say they missed you when you've been gone for a long time (or even for a short time), and they don't really say anything, or they don't say it the way you would have liked them to.  Or like when you give someone a gift and you're really excited about it, and they end up being less enthusiastic than you had imagined.  It's such an odd feeling.  It's a painful feeling, but it feels like it shouldn't be painful, so you try to pretend it isn't, and it just throbs.  It's humiliating almost, and it makes you want to go crawl into a hole or something.  You feel foolish.  Foolish for expecting things out of people that didn't end up happening or that were unreasonable or that weren't necessary, or for the fact that you're feelings are hurt and it's not anyone's fault.  Sometimes that happens, where you get hurt and no one is really to blame.  That's always sort of hard for me, because it's easier to blame someone else and then just forgive them and be done with it, but if it's no one's fault (not even my own) that means that there's something I'm going to have to cope with, and that there are feelings I'm going to have to identify with, and that's hard.  So what do you do when someone does something, or doesn't do something, and it hurts?  What if it isn't their fault?  What if it's not really something they could have helped, or they just didn't know better?  It makes everything so much more complicated.

 

I miss my friends.  I can't wait to come home.  Five days is a lot more than it sounds like.

 

Sincerely,

Mara Tenille

The Butterfly Child

Are you who you want to be...

I'm happy.

 

Today we got lost looking for an Amish grocery store.  The store ended up being sort of funny, and cheap, but it took us forever to find.  We got lots of candy and some cereal bars and other random stuff.

 

Stallions Versus Unicorns is a great band.  I really like them.  One of these days I'm going to get their CD and rock out to it in my room and dance around like the loopy teenage girl that I am.  I mean, *cough* I don't dance.

 

I'm knitting a beret.  I had to start over today because I dropped a stitch, and that was really depressing, but I'm almost all caught up now, so it's not that big a deal.  It's been knitting up really fast, which is nice.  I've never actually finished any of my knitting projects, so if this hat works out it'll be a pretty big step for me. *laugh*

 

Today I added some people on Facebook that I haven't talked to in a long time.  It's sort of a weird feeling, to see pictures of people that you used to know.

 

Guys shouldn't wear colored eyeshadow with penciled in girly eyebrows. *shudder*

 

I guess that's all.

 

Sincerely,

Mara Tenille

My Seventeen magazine tells me that you're in love...

Random song line.  Hooray.

 

Today, being Thanksgiving, I ate a lot of food.  And I continue to eat food as soon as I'm no longer full.  It's rather pathetic.  I like food, but at the same time, I mean, come on, think of all the junk I've eaten!  But it was some really tasty junk.  And this kind of tastiness only happens once a year.  So I guess it's worth it.

 

I type really loud.  I wonder why that is.  Seriously, it's so much louder when I type than when everyone else types.  It's sort of annoying.  I wish I typed like all the normal people and wasn't so obnoxious.

 

So, Wisonsin is being nice.  I haven't gone outside since we got here, so I can't really talk about the weather, because I don't know what it's like.  I'm not sure what we're doing tomorrow, since absolutely nothing has been planned, so that sort of kills that train of thought.  I could talk about what I did today, but I already covered the obscene amount of food I ate and that's really all that happened.  We did watch Christmas with the Kranks (is that how it's spelled?) on TV.  That was sort of fun.  We watched Hannah Montana for a little bit too.  That made me laugh.  It was sort of a random and uneventful day, really.  Not that that's bad.  I don't mind necessarily.  But too many days like that and I get all antsy and that's just bad news all around.

 

Alright.  Now, I'm going to go and sit around some more.

 

Sincerely,

Mara Tenille

They're singing 'deck the halls', but it's not like Christmas at all...

I have Christmas music stuck in my head.  Not that that's bad or anything, but anytime you have a song stuck in your head it tends to seem annoying whether or not it really is.  I like Christmas music.

 

Today we're leaving for Wisconsin.  I haven't packed anything yet, so that'll pretty much consume my afternoon. 

 

Okay, sorry this is so short, but I have to go now.  Bell's going to ring.

 

Mara

Put back the stars, I'm out of place tonight...

I think I'm going to work really hard and try and figure out the chords for Some Will Seek Forgiveness.  That song is seriously amazing.  Everyone should hear it.

My playlist has been going all awry as of late.  That's no good.  I'll have to try and fix it someday.  It's really just not a very efficient system, but hey, it's free and legal, as far as I know.

You know what other song is good?  I Hated Prom by Transistor Radio.  I like it.  I'm listening to it right now, even.

I tried to write a song for maybe 5 minutes, and nothing happened.  Sorry guys.

I don't really care what movies we get in what order.  Sherlock Holmes would be fun to watch.  I'm glad Peter Pan is coming next, because I like that movie a lot.  I would own it.  That's another good Christmas/birthday present idea.

Adam, I don't really think you're stalking me.  I just didn't know who you were, and I like to talk randomly, and the combination of the two produced some random words that I spat out because that's just how I roll.

I'm going to put a line from a Blindside song as this blog's title, because Blindside is a good band.  I like them a lot.  I used to hate them, and then somewhere along the line I changed my mind, and now I think they're pretty awesome.

Some Ballard people are going to the show on Saturday.  That means I will maybe actually talk to some of them, since there won't be all sorts of schooly things making me feel weird about it.

I should go do more homework now. *sigh*

Mara the Butterfly

I saw one gaze frozen in time, watching me passing by...

I love this song.  I think I might be obsessed.  Not really, but this would be a good song to obsess over.

My new nail polishes rock.  They're really cool colors.  A light blue shiny one, a purple/brown multicolored amazing magical one, and a blue glitter one.  Yep.  Pretty nifty.

So, at our concert Saturday we're the only Christian band playing. (Oh, by the way, we have a concert on Saturday. *wink*)  They want us to share the gospel.  So, I'm like... sweeeeeet... but I have to write something awesome to say.  So, if you have a moment and you'd like to pray for us, that would be fantastic.  I'm really excited, but really nervous at the same time.

I feel like writing a song.  I think I'll go do that.

Mara Tenille

Hey unfaithful, I will teach you to be stronger...

thejoypirate!?  Who is you be, person?  I'm so confused!  Are you stalking me?  Because I definitely know people who could and would take you down.  Muahahahahahahaha.  I LIVE ON A WELL LIT STREET WITH LOTS OF DOGS THAT BARK WHEN PEOPLE COME BY AND MY PARENTS WATCH OUT THE WINDOWS FOR EVIL PEOPLE!  IT'S ALL TRUE!

Yeah.

So, youth group was really good.  The lesson was excellent.  I think there were people that really needed to hear it, so I'm excited to see what God does with it.

I am now proclaiming that the song Some Will Seek Forgiveness, Others Escape is incredible.  I love it.  I want to cover it.  But I have to convince Ben to scream.  Muahahahahahaha.  I bet he'd do it.  Actually I bet he won't, and I'd be shocked if he even considered it, but you know.  It's the thought that counts.  Or something.  It's an awesome song though.  Seriously.  Underoath is my hero.

I need sleep now.  Goodnight!

Mara the Butterfly

I'm somewhere in between what is real and just a dream...

I love this song.

The lock-in was fun.  I still don't like dodgeball.  Murderball was sort of fun.  I think it's a keeper.  I thought the rounds of Glowball were too long, but it really wasn't terrible.  I was only crabby for like, one or two out of the however many hours we were there, and I don't think I was mean to anyone.  The movie was good.  Yeah.  It was a pretty good lock-in.  I'm tired though.  I slept for four or five hours this afternoon, because I meant to only sleep for three so I set my alarm, and when it went off I hit the snooze once and that's all I remember until I woke up and it had been on.  I'm going to watch Transformers and then go to bed.  That sounds good.

Sincerely,
Mara the Butterfly Fairy Princess

Ballard high, Ballard high, fight, fight, fight!

That was a really short and somewhat pointless pep rally.  And now the school song is stuck in my head.

 

I'm really tired.  I slept horribly last night, for no apparent reason.  And my throat hurts and I'm thirsty.  Grrrrr.

 

I'm not feeling very fantastic about the lock in.  Not gonna lie.

 

Mrs. Ronca is giving us a crash course in Dreamweaver, which I spent half of last year using, so it's pretty boring.  It gives me time to blog though, which is good.  And, thus far, I don't have any homework.  Algebra is tedious and time consuming.

 

Gotta run!

 

Mara

A cloud moves in, rain falls, thunder strikes, and sunshine breaks through the clouds...

My Digital Communication grade went down. Grrrrrrr.  Stupid poster.

 

I'm awake.  That's a good thing, because last night we went to see Stardust at the dollar theatre really, really late.  Didn't get home until like, 1 in the morning.  Slept through my alarm.  But!  I'm awake now.  And later I get to go home and not fall asleep reading Frankenstein.  I'll be all caught up though.  That's good.

 

Next week is going to be weird, because of all the crazy scheduleness at school, and getting ready for the lock in.  The lock in ended up being planned so that I will be wearing my dress for a grand total of an hour, and then will either change or play dodgeball with it on.  There are like, three different versions of dodgeball that we're playing.  Strobelight Dodgeball, one other kind that I don't remember, and Glowball.  Not to mention all the similar games, like indoor murderball (I think this was the one that's sort of like steal the bacon), all the Wall Ball we'll probably end up playing, and I know there were more games involving balls that get thrown at people and running and dodging and blocking and throwing and blah.  I wish I liked games like that.  But honestly, six hours of getting stuff thrown at me and having to either run away or throw it back isn't exactly what I'd prefer to be doing.  I don't really know what I'd rather do, but still, I am not a dodgeball person.  It's not like it won't be any fun.  I'll play because everyone else is playing.  But that's probably the only real reason.  *shrug*  Oh well.  Not a big deal.

 

So, I'm sort of wondering if wearing my dress to the masquerade is even worth it.  Especailly since I'd have to either change after dinner or play dodgeball in it.  Playing dodgeball in it would probably ruin it, because it's too long and it drags on the ground.  Changing works, but that means I'm only wearing it for an hour.  Ugh.  I don't know what else I'd wear though.  Stupid dodgeball.

 

I'm not really in a very whiney mood, this is just where I tend to vent.  So you know.

 

Sincerely,

Mara Tenille