I can't lose you 'cause you're my only one

Thank you, Hans. Yeah. I suppose you're right. I'm just tired of always wanting to bail out when things get hard or when they get uncomfortable, and of always wanting to stop trying when I don't see immediate results. I wish I had the drive to actually get something done. To start something and actually finish it for once. And not finish it because I have to, but because if I don't do it I will have quit yet again. I'm tired of wanting to quit. I'm tired of feeling lazy and stupid. I'm tired of giving up on what I want just because I have to work to get there. I'm tired of having dreams and not being willing to follow them. I'm just tired. Of everything. Of me. Because I don't have the guts to get off my butt and be who I want to be regardless of what it takes.

*sigh* Gosh, this is dumb.

Mara

Lift your gaze from the pavement

I am a horrible, cowardly quitter and that's all that there really is to say right now.

Mara

Carelessness is something I recognize when you're fast asleep and I'm in the right

Ooooh, a blog post!

So. Life is going on and such. I posted a random picture of me and Ben and Andrew, just for the sake of posting a picture. I like this picture.

The O's are still here. We're having fun. Hanging out and stuff. We went to see Flushed Away this afternoon. It was kind of stupid, quite honestly. I thought it was rather weird, but I have to say it had it's funny moments. Nothing terribly amusing, but it still made me giggle a little bit. All the same, I would probably have preferred to skip the movie and babysit like I was supposed to and make some dollars. That would have made me happier.

I need to repaint my fingernails, because the paint is coming off of them and they look silly and I keep biting them which is bad. If I paint them all of that will greatly improve, which is good. We like good things more than bad ones. Makes sense to me, at least.

There will be no band practice tomorrow. Andrew and Josh aren't going to be able to make it, and there's not a lot of point in just Ben and I getting together, so we're just not going to meet this week. Maybe Saturday or something. We need to practice a couple times before the 17th, or we'll be crappy and that would be sad and not very professional or polished and then we would look bad next to all the other bands. Not that I care that much about being professional or polished. The bummer is that Andrew might not be able to play, which would suck, because it always does when the whole band isn't together.

Sophie is attempting to play Funky Town on the keyboard.

I'm going to go see if we're going to watch Bananas or not, and if we aren't I'm going to watch Step Up, because I borrowed it from Sierra and I would like to see it.

I like God. He makes me really, really, really happy.

Sincerely,
Mara

Where I hung my coat, that's where I left my head

Goodmorning! I am sleepy and I can't find the shoes I want and stuff but I'm awake which is a good start to the morning. Last night Zach and I put a movie in and I fell asleep. Which I told him I was going to. And I tried reallyreally hard not to. But you know, that's how it goes. Or something like that. Anyway, church is today so I'm getting ready sort of.

Yesterday I bought some hot pink guitar strings. They are amazing. Seriously. I'm going to put them on my electric guitar so it can be more awesome and cool. And I will take a picture so all can see.

There is monkey bread upstairs. I want some.

I think that's about all the exciting stuff.

Mara

Just talk and I'll listen

Zach is here. He's playing my guitar. Somewhere along the line he got better than me. *laugh*

I'm listening to Anberlin.

You should check out a cool new band *cough* http://www.myspace.com/blackheartfeared

Yep.

Mara

I am made from the wires of my synthesizer

Joy Electric is amazing.

I sing How To Save A Life in the key of E. I transposed it yesterday. I think we're going to do an acoustic cover of it so I'll see if someone can record it.

I agree that people tend to want to listen to what other people are listening to. But every once in a while there comes along a song that everyone loves and that is just really good. It's funny how everyone's musical taste seems to kind of unite and everyone loves the same thing at the same time, and then once it gets old they continue loving whatever they loved before, and then a new phenomenon comes along and everyone is happy.

I think people like to identify with a song. They like to feel the emotion that gets written into a song in a profound way that they can relate to. They want a song to make them feel understood. One of the things that I love about music is that it reminds me that I'm not alone in what I feel. I think everyone wants to feel known.

I like lots of songs that have lame lyrics and a good sound or a lame sound and good lyrics. Like Stellar Kart. They make me happy and I like the simplicity and the lack of effort it takes to know what they're talking about, but really, their lyrics kind of suck sometimes. In their defense, I think Hawk Nelson is worse, but still.

I like songs with a good sound. I adore a good melody. Give me a song with a strong melody line and a latte and I'm good for hours.

Yeah. Anyway. I need to go to bed.

Goodnight!

Mara

Let him know that you know best because after all you do know best

It's probably horribly tacky to use two lines from the same song as back-to-back blog titles, but it's my blog, and I can do what I want, so we're going to go with it because I'm listening to the song again and I can do that if I want to. SO THERE.

I need a parent to wake up so they can take me to school in fifteen minutes. Because if I don't get to school bad things will happen. Or something. I was kind of hoping it would snow bunches last night so I wouldn't have to go to school today, but it didn't. And we can't have a snow day tomorrow because it's Thursday tomorrow. But Friday it can. I would like a snow day on Friday.

Zach comes tomorrow!

Now I'm listening to other The Fray songs, just so that I don't die of a How To Save A Life overdose. That would be rather ironic, actually. Heh.

What defines a good song? What kinds of songs are the general public drawn to? What is it about a melody or a lyric that makes people want to hear it over and over again?

I'm going to go finish getting ready for school now.

51n(3r3|y,
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